Survivors Sharing

I’ve lived with DID my whole life but was just diagnosed 4 years ago after struggling with a misdiagnosis of schizophrenia from when I was 16. When I was first diagnosed DID, I didn’t know what was in store for me because I didn’t know anything about DID. I stayed in denial for a long time but thanks to a DID support group I attend, I am no longer in denial and my life is much better.

I’m now happy I have DID because without my parts taking good care of me, I don’t know where I would be today.  I’ve been successful as a preschool teacher for 10 years and I worked in a doctor’s office helping others get better. I have also been a home health care worker for people who have terminal cancer and elderly who needed 24 hour care.

In addition to helping others though work, I also volunteered with a company called Better Living for Seniors where I was in charge of activities and teaching self care. I also volunteered for  “meals on wheels” which brings meals to the elderly who can’t get out of their homes.

I was able to do these things because of my gift of DID. If I didn’t have DID, I think I would be in a vegetative state locked up in a hospital. My parts have made me very high functioning and a very strong person with a lot to offer. My only hope is the same day, DID is accepted for what it is.

—Ann Marie

My name is Carlyn and I was diagnosed 8 years ago with DID.  I was very happy to find this site because I think it will be helpful for people to understand what DID is really all about. I have been so afraid to tell anyone because I was worried about what people would think. I have a loving family, and 3 children. I am a stay at home mom by choice but prior to having my children, I worked as a paralegal. I am on the PTA in my children’s school and I volunteer at many of the class events. I was and still am worried what the other parents would think if they found out. I didn’t know if they would stop letting their children come over to my home or if my children would be teased. Hopefully soon I won’t have to worry so much.

—Carlyn

Having DID has been a challenge for me. I have had a lot of issues because of it. No one would know that though because I have been doing a good job to hide it. On the outside, I look like everyone else. No one would know what happens on the inside. My parts helped me to survive my very abusive childhood and now they still help me make it through each day. One part helped us with school and I finished college with honors in the field of  biological sciences.  Another part helped us get our job where we still work testing water supplies to make sure they are at safe levels for people and animals. I take pride in my job because I know that even though it is a simple job, if I don’t do it right, it could make people very sick.  I go to church and like to sing in the choir. I also like to be outside so I run a lot and ride my bike. With therapy the days are getting easier and my challenges are getting better. People should know that we are like everybody else and they don’t need to be scared of us or worried we will hurt them. To all the people who read this, don’t give up and keep trying to get better.

—Charles

I am a survivor of [organized] abuse and was diagnosed with DID about 6 years ago. I am very thankful for my parts, if it were not for them I would not be alive today. I am married to a wonderful man who is my best friend, we own our own business (a small restaurant), I am active in my church and community. I have a BA degree in Psychology and Social Work and a MA degree in Art. I am a practicing artist and have won awards, been in national shows and have had one person shows of my art work. I have been able to work many jobs including child care counselor with emotionally disturbed children, volunteer coordinator, job coach for developmentally disabled and mentally disabled adults, as well as all the summer jobs and college jobs I had during my college days. It is amazing to me when I look back at what I have been able to accomplish with the help of my parts.

DID is an amazing gift and I am honored to be one. I have met people on the Internet and in person who I cherish and respect as friends who also have DID. We are normal people with normal lives and normal needs who spend a lot of our time isolated because of fear of being rejected for our gift of DID. That is not to say that we do not all struggle with our problems but I have not met anyone in my life who has not struggled.

I am thankful for Jaime and her desire to show the positive and normal side of DID!

—K

I've always been a successful person. I graduated high school, with honors, a year early. With only my high school degree, I got a job paying 4 times the minimum wage and I bought my first home when I was 19. Then I married and became a stay at home mom home schooling my kids and doing day care, and later foster care.

I started having repressed memories surface about 15 years ago when my kids were ages 7-12. I'd never been to a counselor, never heard of [organized] abuse, and never heard of people having repressed memories, so I just figured I was overly stressed and going crazy. It took me a couple years to accept they were actually memories. It was when a little girl from my first memory surfaced! So not only did I realize they were memories, but I was a multiple, now called DID! Although it was very chaotic in the beginning, since then I've adopted a child with HIV, finished my BA degree in Human Services, graduating with honors, and I've started my own business where I have 9 employees. I help care for and support people with mental health and developmental disabilities.

That being said, I lived most of my life feeling alone, I was a loser, and stupid. I hid my thoughts and feelings inside me and felt that if anyone saw the real me, they would feel the same way. On the outside I looked "normal" and happy, but one the inside I only felt alone. I started seeing a counselor about 5 years ago. I saw one for 18 months and 3 years later I started seeing another one. I've been with her for about 18 months. I'm finally starting to have moments, sometimes all day, where I don't feel alone. I feel accepted, I have value, and loved. I'm starting to see I have a lot to give to others. Although my abuse was horrific, it has given me the compassion and grace to give to other suffering people.

Although my friends and some family members know about my abuse and me being DID, it's not something I can share openly because of the disbelief many people, including professionals, still have. Plus the stigmatism of DID being labeled as a mental illness and the stereotype of not being able to function, or not being a safe person to care for kids or vulnerable adults.

I hope that would change in the near future, so people with DID who have been so horribly abused can get the help and support they need and deserve.

—Cory

I just came across this site and this is the first time I haven’t been embarrassed about having DID. You never see people openly talk about their experience and in such a positive way. It’s nice to see people talking about the good things people with DID can do. I was dx 8 years ago and I have never really told anyone before. I was too scared. I didn’t want to be laughed at or not believed. Now I can direct people here to see all the wonderful things we can still do. I am not as far along in my healing like some of the others but their stories give me a lot of hope. I still have times when I struggle a lot but I am still able to work in my full time as an accountant.  I have 1 son and I am newly single. I went to college and I think my life is for the most part is pretty good. I mean, we all have our issues right. My parts are my best friends and great helpers. I don’t think I would have wanted it any other way.

—Jessi